“It’s Not About Being a Good Person.”
If you’ve ever spiraled after snapping at someone, questioned your worth as a healer, or felt crushed under the pressure to always be kind, this episode is for you. Inge dives into the raw moments of losing your cool and what it really means about your capacity to hold healing space—for yourself and others. This is a powerful permission slip to be human and a healer.
Listen wherever you get your podcasts:
Today’s Block
“Am I a good person or a bad person?” and how this question sabotages your healing work.
Listen If…
🔹 You’ve recently snapped, ghosted, or withdrawn and feel ashamed
🔹 You fear you’re not “regulated enough” to do healing work
🔹 You’re stuck in perfectionism around the healer identity
Three Takeaways
1️⃣ Your context isn’t your character.
2️⃣ True healing comes from repair, not perfection.
3️⃣ Performing calmness disconnects you from real intimacy.
Today’s Key Action
Stop litigating your goodness—return to your values through fierce responsibility and self-love.
Going Deeper
Episode 10 – “Am I a bad person? and should I not heal anyone else?”
It happens quietly, then all at once—you snap. You say something sharp, cancel too many sessions, or curl up in shame wondering: Am I even fit to do this work?
This question, “Am I a good person or a bad person?” is a silent epidemic among intuitive women on the healing path. But it’s a false binary that keeps us stuck in performance, not transformation.
Your Context Isn’t Your Character
When your nervous system is overwhelmed, your shadow emerges. That doesn’t mean you’re disqualified as a healer—it means you’re human. Capacity stretches us, and in those stretched states, we will mess up. But your reaction under pressure is a signal, not a sentence.
Let it inform you, not define you.
Perfection Is a Performance, Not a Healing Tool
Inge calls out the trap of “nice healer” performance—polished words, gentle tones, emotional detachment. But real healing asks more of us: range, truth, attunement, and presence. Clients don’t need perfection. They need someone who can feel with them, walk with them, and come back after a rupture.
Regulation isn’t the goal—repair is.
Take Fierce Responsibility, Let Go of Shame
The difference between collapse and growth is how we respond. Shame keeps us small and hidden. Responsibility invites us to reassess our needs, reset our supports, and recommit to our values.
You’re not a bad person for breaking down. You’re a healer with a nervous system that needs care, too.
This journey isn’t about being flawless. It’s about coming back—again and again—to what matters most: connection, integrity, and real, lived healing.
Where we go this episode
00:00 The Healer’s Inner Conflict
02:00 Navigating Growth and Boundaries
04:54 Shame and Pressure in Healing
08:57 Understanding Context vs. Character
13:14 The Realness of Healing
18:26 Embracing the Journey of Healing
Join the conversation on instagram
The time for do-it-all-on-your-own is over.
Come tell me over on instagram –
What resonated most from today’s episode?
1. Your context isn’t your character.
2. The more pressure I felt to be kind, the meaner I became.
3. The frustration of holding back my gifts and feeling stuck in almost-healer mode.
4. We are professionals of repair, not of perfection.
5. You are not disqualified by your breakdowns.
The time to do it all on our own is over.
This journey isn’t meant to be walked alone.
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