25 – How to Honor the Healing Cycle (and why we still struggle with “I should be beyond this by now”)
Why Healers Struggle with “I Should Be Further Along By Now” (And How to Honor the Healing Cycle)
If you’ve ever whispered to yourself, “I should be over this by now,” this episode is for you. Inside, we unravel the perfectionism and shame that can creep in when we expect our healing to be linear. Inge shares a deeply raw moment from her own cycle of contraction—and why these moments aren’t a detour, but the very path to embodied healing.
Listen wherever you get your podcasts:
Today’s Block
“I should be further along by now.”
Listen If…
🔹 You beat yourself up for circling back to the same emotional themes
🔹 You’re a healer who forgets your own humanity
🔹 You’re caught in the shame spiral of perfectionism
Three Takeaways
1️⃣ Healing is cyclical, not linear—and that’s by design
2️⃣ Contraction isn’t failure; it’s fertile ground
3️⃣ Perfectionism is often the nervous system bracing for shame
Today’s Key Action
Meet your current block with curiosity instead of judgment. Then ask: What if this contraction is part of my mastery?
Going Deeper
Why Healers Struggle With Feeling “Behind” on Their Path
Healing isn’t a ladder. It’s a spiral.
And yet, many intuitive, devoted healers quietly carry the thought: I should be further along by now. It shows up in perfectionistic pressure, subtle shame, and the resistance to rest. But what if that belief is the real block—not the contraction you’re currently in?
The Trap of the Spiritual Overachiever
Most women called to the healing path are brilliant, intuitive, and deeply compassionate. We’ve often been praised for our insight, our emotional intelligence, our “potential.” And with that praise, many of us developed a belief that we must always be ahead, always be evolving, always know more.
So when we encounter a block we’ve “worked on before,” or when we find ourselves needing more rest than usual, a quiet voice creeps in: You should be past this.
This shame doesn’t just hurt. It disconnects us from the very thing we’re here to embody—presence, trust, love.
Contraction is Sacred, Not a Setback
Inge’s episode offers a lived invitation into the cyclical nature of true healing. She vulnerably shares how her own menstrual cycle, energy rhythms, and a difficult week led her back into contraction—and back into this lesson.
The truth? Contractions are not mistakes. They are invitations.
To rest.
To digest.
To re-meet yourself at a deeper octave.
Every healer will experience these ebbs. The difference isn’t whether they happen—it’s whether you judge them or honor them.
Perfectionism: A Nervous System Strategy
The desire to get it right from the beginning isn’t just a mindset issue. It’s a nervous system pattern. It’s the child who was praised for being smart, now avoiding the risk of “not knowing.” It’s the healer who wants to be a vessel, but also fears being seen as flawed.
And yet… every time we circle back with compassion, we become more trustworthy to our clients. Not because we’re perfect—but because we’re real.
Healing is a Team Sport
Inge also introduces a vision for collaborative healing—a community of healers supporting each other during contractions. A regenerative ecosystem where your pain helps me grow, and my growth helps you feel less alone.
Because healing isn’t meant to be done in isolation. Especially not for the ones holding space for others.
Where we go this episode
00:00 The Healing Journey Begins
02:45 Understanding Cycles of Contraction and Expansion
06:09 The Pressure of Perfectionism
08:54 Embracing Human Vulnerability
12:00 The Importance of Community in Healing
15:06 Navigating Personal Blocks as Healers
17:49 Vision for a Collaborative Healing Community
Join the conversation on instagram
The time for do-it-all-on-your-own is over.
Come tell me over on instagram –
What resonated most from today’s episode?
1. You’re allowed to come undone again.
2. You are not behind. You are spiraling deeper.
3. Even your shame has a sacred rhythm.
4. Rest isn’t weakness—it’s a skill.
5. Being a healer doesn’t mean never needing healing.
The time to do it all on our own is over.
This journey isn’t meant to be walked alone.
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