16 – When healers perform the disappearing act… on themselves.

Episode 16 – Why Healers Disappear on Themselves—and How to Come Back

Have you ever shown up perfectly for everyone else — but realized you’ve ghosted yourself?

Many sensitive women, especially those called to healing work, know this painful pattern well. You read the room, hold space, adapt like an energetic chameleon… and slowly, quietly, your own needs vanish.

The Cost of Being Over-Attuned

As healers, our sensitivity is our strength. But when our energy is always turned outward—tracking feelings, keeping peace, harmonizing—we lose touch with our own center.

We forget what we want.
We abandon our practices.
We disappear from ourselves.

It’s survival. Many of us learned young that being tuned in, adaptable, and hyper-aware kept us safe or loved. But as adults, this leaves us overextended and invisible within our own lives.

Recognizing the Signs You’ve Ghosted Yourself

• You can feel everyone else’s needs but not your own
• Your meditation, boundaries, or creative desires fall away
• You avoid connection when you can’t “perform” your healing self
• You feel depleted, invisible, or lost inside

This is a protection pattern. No need to be hard on yourself. But to truly embody your healing gifts, you must come home to yourself.

The Healing Antenna: Turn It Inward

Imagine your sensitivity like antennae extending from your energy field—constantly sending love, reading others, keeping the peace. Now, visualize turning those antennae inward.

What happens when your own healing presence floods back to you?

For many, the first time feels raw. You may cry. You may feel overwhelming love, or deep grief for the years you disappeared. But this is your power. The more you call your energy home, the more rooted, visible, and real you become.

Coming Home is the Real Healing

Learning to hold yourself with the same love you offer others is the foundational skill for any healer. From this grounded place:

• You state your boundaries without fear
• You show up messy and real, not just perfect
• You discern when to give, and when to replenish

You matter. Your needs matter. And when you reclaim your energy, your healing work carries more integrity, power, and choice.

Ready to stop ghosting yourself? Start by gently turning your antenna inward. Your presence, your power, your worth — they’re all still here, waiting.

Why Believing in Yourself as a Healer Feels So Hard
Let’s be honest. “Healer” is a big freaking word.
You might have powerful images in your head — the shaman on a mountain, the medicine woman in the forest. Then you look in the mirror and think… “I’m not that.” And suddenly that dream in your heart — the one where you help people return to themselves — feels out of reach.
But what if it isn’t?

You Were Born to Be a Channel for Love
Here’s the truth:
If there’s a voice inside you that says, “I want to be a force of love in the world,” you’re already being called.
Even if it’s inconvenient, even if it’s hard, that call matters.
To love deeply.
To help others return to their truest selves.
To free yourself — and everyone else — in the process.

What Healing Really Means (Hint: It’s Not About Fixing People)
To this day, I still don’t know for sure that I’m meant to be a healer.
It’s a best-guess situation. But I kept following the breadcrumbs — the curiosity, the energy, the sense of resonance.
And I started realizing:
Healing isn’t about “fixing” anyone.
It’s about walking each other home.
Again and again.
And again.

Channeling Healing Energy Isn’t About Power — It’s About Posture
When we do energy work, yes — we’re channeling something universal. It’s magical.
But what’s really happening is a return. A walking back home.
When you’re anchored in your own energy, you’re no longer looping.
You’re no longer recreating the same pain over and over.
That’s when you start to change lives — including your own.

Claiming the Title “Healer” Doesn’t Make You Special — It Makes You Committed
There’s a hesitation many of us feel about calling ourselves healers.
We worry about seeming arrogant or fake or unworthy.
Let’s clear that up:
Claiming the identity of “healer” doesn’t make you better than anyone else.
It’s not about power over others.
But it is a powerful commitment — to becoming the most whole, most loving, most expressive version of yourself.

The Pain of Holding Back Your Healing Gift
Let’s be real. It hurts to hold this inside.
It hurts when you know there’s something deep inside you — a song, a truth, a love — and it’s trapped.
That kind of stuckness?
That’s where depression lives. That’s where self-doubt takes root.
You start to feel powerless… not because you lack the gift, but because you’re not using it.

You’re Already Doing Healing Work (But It’s Not Landing)
You probably already hold space for others.
You’re the one people call when they’re upset.
You have a calm presence. You listen deeply.
They feel better after talking to you — but do you?
Without the right tools, what often happens is:
You absorb everyone’s pain, they feel better, and you feel worse.
Your full gift doesn’t get to land.
And that’s frustrating. Because deep down, you know you’re here for more.

The Cost of Staying in “Almost-Healer” Mode
Maybe you’re stuck in dynamics where you’re the “healing friend,” always giving… but nothing really changes.
You’re not doing anything wrong. But you’re also not doing what you could be doing.
You’re not refined. You’re not trained. You’re not centered.
And honestly?
There’s something selfish about keeping your healing work half-baked.
When the world is aching — and your desire to help is overflowing — staying stuck in “almost-healer” mode becomes a waste of your power.

Healer, It’s Time to Refine Your Gift
Let’s flip the script.
If you’re already doing healing work — let’s make it work.
Let’s refine your energetic tools.
Let’s build your ability to ground, read energy, and move energy without draining yourself.
Let’s give language to your work so it reaches the right people.
Because the more you refine you, the more impact you make.
And the more you are healed in the process.

Healing Is a Skill — You Can Learn It
You don’t have to have all the answers right now.
You don’t need to know where this path leads.
But you can choose to learn. To practice. To say yes.
So try this with me:
Take a deep inhale.
A long, grounding exhale.
And whisper to yourself:
“I’m called to heal.
I’m called to learn this as a skill.
I don’t need to know where it ends up.”

What Being a Healer Really Looks Like
Not everyone is meant to be a healer in the way we’ve been taught to imagine it.
But healing work can look like:
Greeting people at the dentist’s office with genuine warmth
Leading your team with emotional intelligence
Healing generational trauma in your own family
Playing music that opens people’s hearts
Regulating your nervous system and modeling peace
Healing is that universal. That accessible. That necessary.

Welcome to The Healer’s Journey
This podcast is for all of you who feel the call — whether you’re building a healing business or simply learning to live from your deepest truth.
We’re going to bust the myths, clear the blocks, and walk each other home.
I’m Inge Broer.
Welcome to The Healer’s Journey.
Make sure to subscribe and catch the next episode. You’re not alone on this path. And it’s time to begin.